I love to watch the show "Friday Night Lights." It is tv show about high school football in Texas. The main character is Coach Taylor. He's coached the team to many a state championships but this season he's coaching a new team that isn't quite up to par. In the show, he believes in his team and inspires them to overcome whatever obstacles they might be facing. It's inspirational to me to wach Coach Taylor believe in these high school youth. I love shows like these. I guess that's why I became a teacher and work with youth. I want to be someone who inspires kids and helps them to change their lives.
I was catching up on my tivo the other day and watching the latest episode of "Friday Night Lights." In this episode, Coach Taylore encourages this kid who comes from a rough part of town to give up his gun and devote himself to football. It is football that's going to get him out of the situation and the kid trusts the coach and does it. I know it's cheesy but it got me thinking. I just spent the last week with 10 high school youth on a mission trip to Sneedville, Tennessee. Sneedville is located in Hancock Co which is the poorest county in the state. I was looking forward to this trip as opportunity for seeing how much the kids could grow in this experience. I wasn't really thinking about the things that I might learn. The youth did a great job. They amazed me everyday with the things they did. There were 8 kids from the group I was with and 2 that were there on their own. The kids blended together and included everyone from the first game they played together. One of the themes of the week were finding God moments. They things they shared impressed me. One God moment for someone was listening to the problems that existed in the county and the fact that they were here to help. Another God moment was when the older lady whose house they painted said she loved us. My God moments were seeing the youth. They were the prayers they prayed when called upon and the devotion they were responsible for. I was so proud to see some of the girls speak up who don't always share what they have going on in their minds and hearts. There were tears in my eyes when one youth played his guitar and sang a song and then his brother said it was the best part of his day.
Friday Night Lights made me think that I learn as much from the youth as they could ever learn from me. They teach me how to love on a daily basis. They show their love for God in the way they interact with each other and the easy way they say I love you to each other and to me. Over the past few years, they are the ones that have shown me that to show the love I have for God I have to show the love I have for others. It is about more than just feeling it.
1 John 3:16-17 says "We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us - and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God's love abide in anyone who has the world's goods and sees a brother and sisteer in need and yet refuses help?"
These young people are showing this kind of love.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Is it worth it?
My life has changed a lot in the past few years. I spend a lot of time reflecting on this because it blows my mind. I can't believe the person I am now. I can't believe where my life has taken me. It is so different than where I ever thought I would be. Most of the time I'm happy with where I am and the choices that I've made. But sometimes I can't help but think, is it worth it?
In a week, I will turn 29. Only one more year in my 20s. I use to think I would be married by this point in my life and maybe even have kids. But I'm no where near that point. My grandmother recently told me that if I wasn't careful I would turn out to be an old maid. If I didn't stop spending so much time with the kids and find a man all the young ones would be taken. She doesn't agree with my choices to live in the small town of Gatlinburg and to throw myself into church and youth activities. She doesn't understand how I've drifted apart from people that I was so close to in my other life. I let this cause doubts about my life and my choices. It didn't help that I met some freinds from this other life and it wasn't what I thought it would be at all. I didn't feel like I could be myself or that we were even friends anymore. I sat in my car and cried after this. I couldn't help thinking, Is it worth it? Is being a part of church and youth costing me too much?
I left for Annual Conference at Lake Junaluska with all these doubts and fears floating around in my head. I doubted that what I was doing was even worth it. I doubted if what I felt last year as a calling was even real. I felt like I didn't have any friends and that I was all alone. But those feelings were pushed aside as I was reminded of what I love most about being a Methodist. That I am connected with all these people from Southern Virginia to Northern Georgia. From the moment, I got to Annual Conference I began to see friends and experience the God I serve. I have never been one to be emotional. I don't worship in an emotional way and don't really understand the need people have to raise their arms up when singing. I'm not judging. It's just not anything I've ever experienced at least until this night. The last song the praise band played was "The Stand." When they got to the lyrics, "So I'll stand with my arms held high and heart abandonded, in awe of the one who gave it all, so I'll stand with my soul Lord to you surrendered, all I am is yours," I found my arms in the air and tears in my eyes. I realized that it was worth it. That my life wasn't the same and it never would be. That I serve an amazing God and that giving all I have to him was what I was called to do. I've been struggling the past year trying to figure out what that means. What it means to give all I have to God. I realized that it means your life isn't your own and that things will never be the same. It also means that I'm not alone. I have God, the father, God, the son, and God the holy spirit with me always. It means that I have all these people that I'm connected with because of him. They may not be the friends I've had forever or that I went through college with but the bond is deeper and stronger.
So yes it is worth losing an old life to serve God in this new life.
"Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the father, we too may live a new life. " Romans 6:3-4
In a week, I will turn 29. Only one more year in my 20s. I use to think I would be married by this point in my life and maybe even have kids. But I'm no where near that point. My grandmother recently told me that if I wasn't careful I would turn out to be an old maid. If I didn't stop spending so much time with the kids and find a man all the young ones would be taken. She doesn't agree with my choices to live in the small town of Gatlinburg and to throw myself into church and youth activities. She doesn't understand how I've drifted apart from people that I was so close to in my other life. I let this cause doubts about my life and my choices. It didn't help that I met some freinds from this other life and it wasn't what I thought it would be at all. I didn't feel like I could be myself or that we were even friends anymore. I sat in my car and cried after this. I couldn't help thinking, Is it worth it? Is being a part of church and youth costing me too much?
I left for Annual Conference at Lake Junaluska with all these doubts and fears floating around in my head. I doubted that what I was doing was even worth it. I doubted if what I felt last year as a calling was even real. I felt like I didn't have any friends and that I was all alone. But those feelings were pushed aside as I was reminded of what I love most about being a Methodist. That I am connected with all these people from Southern Virginia to Northern Georgia. From the moment, I got to Annual Conference I began to see friends and experience the God I serve. I have never been one to be emotional. I don't worship in an emotional way and don't really understand the need people have to raise their arms up when singing. I'm not judging. It's just not anything I've ever experienced at least until this night. The last song the praise band played was "The Stand." When they got to the lyrics, "So I'll stand with my arms held high and heart abandonded, in awe of the one who gave it all, so I'll stand with my soul Lord to you surrendered, all I am is yours," I found my arms in the air and tears in my eyes. I realized that it was worth it. That my life wasn't the same and it never would be. That I serve an amazing God and that giving all I have to him was what I was called to do. I've been struggling the past year trying to figure out what that means. What it means to give all I have to God. I realized that it means your life isn't your own and that things will never be the same. It also means that I'm not alone. I have God, the father, God, the son, and God the holy spirit with me always. It means that I have all these people that I'm connected with because of him. They may not be the friends I've had forever or that I went through college with but the bond is deeper and stronger.
So yes it is worth losing an old life to serve God in this new life.
"Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the father, we too may live a new life. " Romans 6:3-4
Monday, June 7, 2010
Amazing Grace
I don't know how many times I've sung "Amazing Grace" in my life. I've sung the words, "I once was lost, but now I'm found," numerous times without really understanding what that means. I don't know if I realized I'm found until last night. I was running and thinking about my best friend. She moved to a new place last September and has been having a hard time finding her place. I understand where she is coming from. When I moved back home I was so lost. I came home to get away from all kinds of drama going on in my life. I threw myself into church. I threw myself into helping with the youth and doing whatever I could at church. I was trying to lose myself in all that. I was trying to forget all the craziness and pain that I felt in my life. I know that I've grown a lot and changed a lot in the past three years. I'm not the same person I was when I moved back home. But it wasn't til last night, that I realized that I was found. I am happy with my life and I feel complete. It's love that completes me. But not love from a husband or a boyfriend, but love from God. The realization that what God does is mostly love us. I'm complete because of that love. I'm found because of that love.
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